Monday, January 21, 2013

Picking Up the Pieces

It's hard to believe, but it's already been a little over three months since I got married to the love of my life. 

Lisa Price Photography
A few weeks before the wedding, I had a wedding dress crisis.  I went in for my final fitting, and the whole back of the dress wasn't right.  It didn't fit to my back and was bunched up.  This is definitely not what you want to have happen when your wedding date is quickly approaching.  Oh, how hard I had worked to fit in that beautiful dress.  So the manager over alterations dedicated about 4 hours of her time to fixing my dress.  She'd sew, then I'd try it on again...and again, and again.  Finally, after that sweet lady had done all she could do, my choices were to take the dress or get a new one.  My mom and I agreed that she had gotten it to a good point and that in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't matter.  The manager hugged me and then gave me a little speech about how when it came to my big day, that something would go wrong - that I just needed to remember that at the end of the day I would be married.  She had no idea how true her words would become.

Lisa Price Photography
In May, my dad found out he had pancreatic cancer.  Cancer.  It's still hard for me to believe.  My dad ended being in the hospital a few days before the wedding.  His physicians had every hope of getting him to the wedding, but it just wasn't meant to be. 

Thanks to the help of a wonderful hospital staff at Tennova, our phenomenal family and friends, and my amazing dad - we moved the wedding to the hospital.  It was an emotional day.  It was a beautiful day. Through God's grace, my dad found the strength to walk me down the aisle.  I was commended for moving the wedding to the hospital, but I'll tell you - I commend my dad for what he did for me.  My cup runneth over.  Our prayer that day was that someone in that hospital would see God's love.  

Lisa Price Photography - Thanks for capturing this moment.
Regrettably, my dad passed away 4 days later.  One weekend was a wedding and the next a funeral.  After 5 courageous months of battling this terrible disease, my father went to be with Christ.  We prayed for a miracle, and we got one - just not in the form we had hoped.  I'll never forget what my dad did for me that day and the unconditional love he demonstrated for his family.

It's been a little over 3 months since I gained a husband, but lost my dad.  I can tell you that I do not even know how to pick up the pieces.  My heart is broken.  I don't even really have the words.  I do know that somehow, someway God will get me through until I see him again someday.

In 3 months time, I've allowed myself to get off the bandwagon with healthy eating and exercise.  I ate whatever I wanted, and I won't lie - I enjoyed it.  But I don't enjoy not fitting into my pants.  Having zero energy.  Feeling bad about myself.  It's not worth it - so it's time to get back on track.  It's not going to be easy, but I need to do it.  So... let the journey begin! 

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